Choose LOVE instead :)

“Love instead”

Loving is never selfish. How do you define your story? Is it happy? Sad? Just Hanging by? Some couples do end for reasons like they are not happy anymore, not feeling appreciated, fight terribly and mostly argue out of petty reasons and later on regret the outcome.

Infidelity is also a reason. The dictionary would say, the word means ” the act of having an affair (sexually) to a person not your partner or regular sexual partner.” Some say, trust, once ruined and lost, you can never take back. To a cracked glass, you can never use it again. You can, but you will always be cautious and always unsure of what’s going to happen, will it break or not? I say whenever this fear or something like this happens to you, leave instead.

You can never respect a person or much, live with them if you can’t trust them anymore. Things will just get worst, you can even hinder yourself from feeling the happiness you both deserve.

Marriage is beautiful only if you can exert 100% on it. I say, giving it all and never expecting something in return. Valuing all the things you have been through and keeping the bond strong by letting go of the thing that hurts you. Having children is another story, believe me. Children can strengthen the tie, but it’s always up to the both of you if you can work it out or not.

Cathy was a strong woman, smart and independent until she fell inlove. People say, you get stupid when you love. The sad part of her story is that, the man she fell for can’t marry her. The guy is never married, but a part of a different religion. The family of the guy of course, didn’t like her. (They think she is low for her religion,)

Their love is strong. They decided to get away, move to a city. They had 4 kids and living happy, until one day, Cathy got sick and felt so weak. The doctor says, she only have 30 days or less to live. Francis, the guy, felt devastated hearing that news, he decided to do something for Cathy.

One morning, Cathy woke up with flowers and balloons all over, she went outside to see her husband and kids but when she opened her door, she saw a priest and all of the guy and her relatives. Francis, surprised her with a wedding. So a wedding happened, and I can still remember Cathy’s vows then, “Francis, thank you for the love you are giving. I never would want to live another fairytale but ours. I know soon I will leave, but I will depart with a happy and contented heart, for I had the courage to fight for us and believe in you.” Francis vows made me cry: “To my Queen, the joy in my heart, I promise not to replace you in my life whatever happens. I will always dig all our memories together, the times we fight, the moments you’ve laugh. I will hold all those here, for whatever happened, we are still together and you deserve all the love I could give you. Together, we will hold hands until the end.”

This story especially dedicated to Edgar of Edgar’s Landscaping Company in Knoxville!

Love Life: How to Look for Prince (or Princess) Charming

I feel like this is a pretty important piece of work I have to tackle with you, ladies and gents. I may not be the best person to talk about it, but I do have some experience regarding this one. Two failed relationships with immature me and immature men, two heart breaks and one huge singleness later, I am ready to write something about it.

First things first, I have news for you. It’s not new or anything, but this is probably great advice: don’t look at all. I am serious. Don’t go searching for that knight in shining armor. He probably doesn’t exist anyway. I don’t mean the figurative knight in shining armor either. No guy could have that persona and be real. This goes the same for the guys. No woman is as perfect, not even half of those you see in porn videos. Normal bodies don’t work out that way, not at least majority of them anyway.

Now, that we get that out of the way, you may now proceed or stop reading altogether. Do you still want to continue? Really? Sure? Okay. Good.

Knight is non-existent, yes. But there is someone that’s exactly for you. Don’t misunderstand me. You are not misreading. There is someone for you. Someone. For. You. For as long as it’s in the plan, there is a man or a woman for you. Take that from me and the many people who can attest to the fact.

There is a reason why you are experiencing all this pain, all this hardship that never seems to end: the loneliness of being single, the stress at work, the pressure with keeping with the deadlines, the headache of balancing and coping up with difficult people. The reason is that all of that is going to mold you into the better person you can be. Just cooperate with it. Don’t just sit there, bear it and grin. Embrace the pain and the hurt. Take the good with the bad.


While you are at it, remember, too, that this life is more than just getting a spouse. A husband or a wife cannot give you the joy that you so elusively are looking for. If you cannot find it in the family, in money, in fame or fortune, how you are supposed to think that you are going to find it in an imperfect person like you? Yes, I know, I know. You are beautiful and you are most definitely deserved to be loved a hundred percent. That is true. All I am saying is that, you cannot hope to fill up your hole with romantic relationships, sex or children or the security from marriage. This is also true.

Is it wrong to desire these things? No. Is it wrong to dress up, train as a wife and mother and save up for such? Or investing in a house and getting a good for your future kids? No, no, no, no and no. These desires are valid, my dear. You were made to be that way. Just don’t make them your life’s goal.

Being single is the best time to do things. That’s what my married friends say, over and over. I’ve heard that so many times I could say it in my sleep. Enjoy your single, your life, your now. Now, after eleven years of selfish romantic relationship, I finally agree. I am enjoying every bit of being single, without any attachment whatsoever. I wished I could have gone back to rewind it all.

While you are it, too, keep yourself pure, untainted by sexual experimentation or whatnot. Your virginity will be the best gift you give to your husband or your wife. I am not saying about just the physical aspects either. Save your mind, your heart and your body, and set them toward future grace. Keeping away from porn will do wonders for your soul. It will detox you into finer things, lead you away from destructive habits, insecurities, and that desensitization that are so prevalent today. You think porn will not hurt you today, well, that may be true. However, it will not be true in the future. Just try envisioning this: in the middle of your making love with your spouse, an image from the past pops up and it compares your spouse with another person, someone more skilled in making love. Will you not come down unsatisfied? Can you not help but compare?

This is just a sneak peek. I gave you that example because I’ve been there before.

Perhaps you think I am lecturing you. Well, I am actually, in the hopes I may be able to change your mind from doing any of the mistakes I’ve done in the past. I wish somebody told me about these when I was younger. But I was so foolish and stubborn, and there was nobody I could talk about these things. Well, now, I am.

I know also how hard it can be, how hard it is to be good. Here’s the good part. You don’t have to worry about it. If you think you’re not getting it but would like to try being virgins again, join me.

I would like you to know about my God. He created heaven and earth. He was the one who lifted me up, from all the heavy porn addiction and that deep longing for a husband. I was heading toward a wide path destined for my destruction, one that lined up with naked bodies and easy desires. He suddenly zoomed me in and He took my mind, my body and my heart into His peace. My hole was so filled, it overflowed. And what overflow that was, my dear. It was bittersweet and wonderful. It was filling me up over and over. It is still filling me up. God heard my cry and He comforted me. He loves you so much, my dear. So much that it hurts for me even to rethink about it. For God SO love the world, my dear, that He gave His own Son. He did not spare His Son. I’ve seen how mothers instinctively protect their babes and I wonder how hard it must be for this heavenly Father to part with His own Son! He gave His own Son, that anyone who believes in Him shall not perish about have eternal life, my dear.

Perhaps you may think this is religious BS, well, I don’t blame you. I understand where you are coming from, too. But if this is touching your heart, let Him save you from all these, too.

Written and Edited Thanks to Powersun Consultants

How to Live a CLUTTER-FREE Life (Or at Least Your Table)

I’ve been there before (and still am): looking for my house keys, rummaging through my chaotic shelf, until I remember that they were already in my bag. Or maybe, opening my closet and not being able to find anything to pair up my cute black formal slacks because I cannot find my cute white camisole (at least not without digging with a ten foot shovel–it’s a jungle out there!).

I am going to face it, folks: I am no pig but I am no Martha Steward either. However, I have learned a few tricks on my sleeve. It comes with living with siblings, both of whom have no problem coming home to a dresser that looks more like insides of a drawer. I love them, but they can be slobs.

Here’s how I managed to pull it all together:

Relax. I do deep breathing sometimes, because I learned that I cannot control a lot of things in my life, only my reactions. Got a difficult person on work? I have a choice whether he or she will ruin my day or not. I choose not to. So I choose to pick the important things and chill.

Compartmentalize. I am not referring to people. Well, it’s not really advisable to categorize people. What I am getting at is for stuff. Decide which goes where. I place my keys on my bag often, so I won’t have to look for it, but other from that, I usually put them in a shelf, along with my purse and glasses. I pile up my clothes into casual, formal, and for home wear. If I get creative, I can spike this up with more piles for jeans and other clothes that don’t need special handling. I usually put up my dresses, jackets, delicate blouses and whatnot in hangers. Sounds doable? Well, then do it!

Throw away the trash. Every year, I do a spring cleaning and toss out the damaged things (such as dead headphones, magnets that don’t stick and pens that don’t write anymore). It frees up a lot of space and I feel great after. Nothing like taking out the trash!

Say goodbye. Every year I also give away some of my clothes, usually to the garbage guys. They were almost always very polite about it, too. The other year, I donated (gulp!) some of my books to the local public library. It gives the warm tingles to remember how the guys behind the desk were beaming.

Prepare the night before. I prepare my going out of the house clothes the night before, even my undies. I need to do this because I often struggle with which outfit goes with which, even if it’s just for going to the supermarket to buy groceries. While I am aware that I am no beauty (as the society dictates beauty), I am always careful with what I wear.

Clear out your table every end of the day. I’ve managed to learn this only very recently. It generally works, too. Doing this would free up a lot of stuff, with the accompanying sorting of priorities for the next day. Of course, if and when I do this, I generally look forward to a very clean table indeed.

Leave some. I tend to avoid cleaning after other people’s messes. The idea is that if I do it all the time, it tends to be dirty again pretty fast. Add this to the fact that the person won’t learn anything in return.

Pray. It stops the unnecessary words coming out of my mouth as well as stopping me from doing crazy things. Trust me, it works as good for the times when you feel like screaming in the middle of a meeting in the boardroom. Nothing like calling on a rock higher than I.

I have managed to live by this every day. If you have any additional tips, let me know. Show some love and comment below! God bless your day!

Living OFFline

I tried living without Facebook, Skype, Viber, Twitter and Gmail for one day way back then. For most part it worked, because the internet connection we had before was so bad I had to wait one hour to stream anything. However for the most part, it was Lalaland for me. I’ve never gone as somewhere so drastic. The first day, it was all fine and dandy. Second day was a piece of cake. Third day and I was suffering from Internet, social-media withdrawal. My fingers itched and there was a telltale sign of unnecessary anxiety (I wonder how many likes I’d get for my change in profile picture? How are my friends doing? Have they upload pictures with me in them? Have they tagged me already? What about my online pet? Will it survive?)

By the fourth day, sadly, I broke my vow and browsed through Friendster (this was before 2009, okay?), and indulged for minimum of three to four hours looking at pictures and playing online games. It was sad and pathetic, and I am still doing that every once in a while with Facebook. You know what is sad and pathetic? That I can spend so much time online that I don’t even have time to talk with my siblings. I do also observe that when I am doing another round of social-media, my personality gets screwed. By that I mean I tend to be pretend to be happier and more upbeat. It isn’t that serious but sometimes it leads to making some spur-of-the-moment choices, which can potentially break my schedule for the entire week. It isn’t a conscious effort either. Sometimes, it just flows out, this need to be appreciated by others. One other thing, I also observe that I get depressed from looking at how different and how nice other lives seem to span out. People are always smiling and going somewhere in social-media. Or sometimes, it gets to be bloody out there in news feed, with people bashing other people’s choices on presidential candidates, their side in a popular topic and just plain cyber bullying. Bullying offline is bad enough, but doing it or looking at the people doing it is even worse. I decided to distance myself away from all that noise. It’s not good for my heart, head or my time frame.

How did I survive without Facebook, Twitter and Instagram anyway? The answer is: I can. I did.

Here are some of the things I’ve tried to get out of the loop:

Looking for work. Whether it’s job, school or house work, it’s a better alternative to social media. Plus it gets some work done. Being intentional is such a big factor. I usually schedule in to do laundry in the morning, and while my clothes are swirling in the depths of the washing machine, I sweep my bedroom clean. I am amazed at the variety of things to do with just two hours. At my job before, I make it a point never to browse Facebook during working hours. NEVER.

Pick up a hobby or restart one. I like reading books. I keep them in my ebook reader but I prefer those I can smell and touch (nothing like a good old-fashioned book in my hands with a cup of coffee in another!). Before long, I have to wean myself out of reading way too much. But the idea remains: doing I enjoy sure beats out of the struggle in Facebook abstinence.

Sweat it out. I don’t do gyms but there’s a huge front yard in the house and what I do is to rake all those pesky leaves in the driveway. Voila! Another work done! It’s free and it’s super convenient!

Run and play with pets. We have two dogs at home. Such cute furries usually take my time as they nose their way into my lap for a short pat on the head or a belly rub. There’s tons of research done on stress relief through dogs, cats and other living creatures. A case in point are depressed residents on a hospice care facility are boosted out of their conundrums with appearance of these tail waggers.

Place my phone far, far away. I have some near heart attacks when my then new smart phone fell on the floor after I fell asleep with in on my hand. Yikes. So now, I make it a rule to put them in a table and leave them there before going to sleep or taking a bath.

Encourage others. No cell phones on parties or meet-ups! I’ve never got it down as far as I know, but it’s great to chat with friends without them looking at their screens all time.

Finally, pray. I believe in putting my faith in a higher Being than I. Jesus has always been faithful to give me the strength to say no, and that means all of the bad habits I’ve been trying to undo.


Celebrities are well…celebrated for their popularity and their talents, but more often than not, people have to see both sides of the coin to realize nobody should be put in the pedestal. Glittering lights of success may not often reflect the inner life of the celebrities themselves. Although we are called not to judge, we must be careful to select role models especially for the younger generations. Here is a short list of the big names in the limelight, with some tongue in cheek. This is not to bash them at all, but to show both the good and the bad.

Steve Jobs

Glitz: the guy who co-created the famous Apple phone and Mac laptop, worked on Pixar, and worked on numerous technological projects like the NeXT computer, which is designed for use in higher academic and business industry purposes.

Ditz: The supposedly last letter of his that circulated around the web and social media was questionable and a number of sources say it wasn’t really Jobs who wrote it. A little background research revealed that Jobs was interviewed by his official biographer before he died. He mentioned that he regretted “wasn’t always there for (wife and children)”. Therefore, Jobs wanted the biography written so his family could know more about him. While this is not earth shattering at all, it goes to show how easily people can forget about their own family, to put careers first. May we never forget to spend time with our loved ones.

Michael Jackson

Glitz: one of the best known musicians of the 20th century, known for his perfectionism and drastic physical transformation (which was according to him, mainly caused by vitiligo). He was a dancer, a songwriter, a singer, an actor, choreographer, among other things. Called the King of Pop, he amassed a multi-million dollar house and a ranch complete with rides.

Ditz: Jackson was not the best financial guru, as his ranch and some of his albums crashed under renovations, maintenance and construction, as well as unpaid loans. His infamous child molestation charges were never actually successful but people came to view him as a paedophile. Jackson was also, in some ways, very emotional in that he had a open hate relationship with the media. He died supposedly because of drug overdose. With regards to his skin, Jackson had defended it as a result of stage lighting, make-up, and his vilitigo.

Whitney Houston

Glitz: if Michael Jackson was the King of Pop, then Whitney Houston was the princess of ballads, way back when singing your heart out in high tones and deep timbres was the trend. She started out as a singer in church, then gradually worked her way up to stardom, garnering awards from songs such as I Will Always Love You (The Bodyguard) and I Have Nothing. Guinness Book of Records named her the most awarded female singer. Houston also tried out modelling and acting gigs.

Ditz: It wasn’t all glamour for Houston. She later on got hooked on drugs, had a poor marital relationship with her husband who also used drugs. It was rumoured that he was the one who pushed her to do the same. There were concerts when the audience could tell that she was obviously drunk, slurring and blurring the lyrics, and even forgetting them altogether. It was a tragic day when the media reported her death. Autopsy reports showed two findings: systemic levels of drugs used to treat allergies, muscle spasms and anxiety, as well as cannabis; and, heart diseases among other long term effects of cocaine use. She was found to have been drowned. Her only child, Bobbi Kristina Brown also died a few years later. She was initially found face down on a bathtub, was rushed to the hospital to be given medical care but without any chance of recovery. She passed away in the tender age of 22.

Manny Pacquiao

Glitz: He was the Pacman of the boxing ring. Growing up poor, he transferred from a province to work in Manila, the Philippines’ capital. There he went on to work for his family, and was later on seen practicing on boxing. His old trainer has often quoted to saying Manny was very diligent in practice, so it was not long before he was knocking down one opponent and another. His big chance came in the international boxing ring where he fought and defeated giants such as Antonio Barrera, Manual Marquez and world champion Eric Morales. Forbes named him as top two of the most paid athletes in 2015, while Asian Society gave him the award for being the best game changer of the year 2015.

Ditz: While his professional life flourished, his marital side slowly deteriorated. There were numerous accounts of his infidelity. Pacquiao also focused on gambling and drinking until about five years ago when he claimed to have heard the voice of God. Repenting of all his ways, and putting his faith on Jesus Christ, Pacquaio turned his back from his old life of girls, booze and gambling. Everyone had remarked on his change, least happiest of them all is his wife, Jinky. In an HBO reality series, she said, “Our lives were like a roller coaster ride. Before, it’s something like half-half, 50-50 trust, doubt and trust. Now, it’s very different than before. It’s full of trust. Now we have a happy life together.” 

Donald Trump

Glitz: Trump is a businessman, an aspiring politician as well as a celebrity on TV. His numerous exploits in the industry have resulted in hotels, skyscrapers, a imitation of the Taj Mahal (which he later on sold due to debts), ownership of a sports team, a part in beauty pageants and golf courses. He has even trademarked his own name. To date, he has filed his net worth to around $125 million.

Ditz: Bankruptcy has also affected Trump, resulting in selling out a few of his assets and parts of his name franchise. It also did not bode well with some business owners who were dismayed with his immigration policy platforms as a presidential candidate. Besides these, Trump’s three marriages were all documented by the media. Apparently, his passions often overcome his familial responsibilities. In an interview, Trump said, “I just know it’s very hard for them [his former wives] to compete because I do love what I do. I really love it.” Finally in some unofficial biographies, he has been linked to the Italian American mafia crowd.

Miley Cyrus

Glitz: Miley Cyrus (born Destiny Hope Cyrus) is a songwriter, actress and singer. She rose to fame with her role in Hannah Montana, a Disney TV show. Most of her musical works were a success, and it was during this time that one of her albums reached quadruple-platinum (2 million or more but less than 10 million units) status. She started to experiment with her music in the album Bangerz. Miley has since then landed on various acting roles and many more in the music side. She garnered top status on listings by MTV, US Billboard Hot 100 and Forbes as the top 13 of the 100 most famous celebrities. As for other interests, she has reached out to several philanthropic ventures for AIDS awareness and treatment, housing projects, music for peace, among other things.

Ditz: Miley has been open with her use of illegal drug cannabis, one incident of which is mentioned in one of W’s interview of her in 2014. Her sexually open antics produced negative reactions in the Bangerz album, since this lewd behavior was such a far cry from the conservative, preppy girl she portrayed in Hannah Montana.



Never Say Never! Living Free Through Rules

I don’t know about you but I used to hate rules. I don’t like them still, well not all the time anyway. In the first place, there’s so many! Don’t touch! Don’t taste! Don’t do! Don’t! Don’t!

Rules even get changed over time. What was considered as a no-no like wearing boy clothes like pants are technically kaput nowadays. Then there’s this unwritten rule that we should get money more and more, or that we should do more every day. Even kids are catching up with what the number of subjects they have at school. Little wonder it is that sometimes they want to do no more than flopping into bed and stay there until summer comes.

Yet, somewhere along the way, I realized their functions.

I realized this painful fact when I was first getting to know about a childhood game. The thing was, nobody taught me anything. I had to observe everything from the way the other kids played the game. There were actually a lot of rules, and it was confusing trying to remember anything because the cool kids used to mix them up or make new ones on the spot. Disgusted and discouraged, I quit playing it altogether. I was never the physical type of person, so it wasn’t such a huge loss, but it taught me the value of living by a set of how-to’s and must-not’s.

The next lesson I got from living by the book was learning how to obey traffic signs. I walk a lot and fast, so sometimes waiting for the pedestrian walk sign to light up was a hurdle for me. At one point, in my haste, I nearly got myself hit by a car because I was already walking in the middle of the street while the red light was still on. Good thing somebody pulled me out of that situation.

Then there were the unlikely social rules to live by. I once got into a principal’s room and immediately sat on the chair. The principal promptly gave me one of the most embarrassing lectures I’ve ever had about manners (saying excuse me and good morning, as well as, do you mind if I disturb you, among other things). My father, who was beside me at the time, just gave me this look and said, “Why didn’t you say that anyway?” I wanted to disappear on the floor.

Rules are definitely not pleasant. They make life harder, but much safer and much more polite, I learned. I had to learn a lot about what not to do (the hard way!) before I managed to say yes to what to do. I thought life should have been freer without them, but it makes so much sense with being free with them in place.

I mean, think about it: rules like don’t touch a hot stove is hardly a punishment for a curious toddler. Take another rule: don’t drink and drive while drunk; it’s hardly an unreasonable yet it gets broken year after year, resulting in considerable casualties. It may not happen often in the US but I’ve heard about the horror stories in other countries where everything goes (literally) in traffic.

This is why I think relationships have rules, too. Such as being faithful to one partner. It certainly saves you from unnecessary heartache, and protects you from some sexually transmitted diseases like crabs, gonorrhoea, Chlamydia and the like. It does not feel like fun but it’s there for a reason, and many who come into committed relationships have this almost universal and written rule. Although there are some cultures that promote polygamy (more than one partner), it seems everyone is looking for faithfulness.

What about you? What sort of rules do you live by?